So tomorrow is the big day for our new girls. Initiation bright and early... 5 a.m. early. I am really excited for our new babies to be able to be apart of such a strong sisterhood, and more importantly something that means so much to me.
In a complete different aspect of my life, the stress level still hasn't gone down. I feel like I have so much to do but I am being torn in so many directions, and I just don't know how to prioritize. I quit one of my two jobs yesterday in hopes to give me a little bit more time to focus on school. Unfortunately, the job I quit was the job where I only worked four hours a week so it isn't even like it was much time taken out of my schedule, but I just couldn't do it anymore.
I had an epiphany last night (I think I have this epiphany like twice a month, but hopefully it sticks this time). I am sick of pleasing everyone but myself. I'm sick of being held to such high standards that are completely impossible for me to fill. It is time I start worrying about me, and not so much what others think of me or what others want from me. I am one person and only one person, I can't do it all, and I can't be there for everyone. I think its the sense of feeling needed. I like to feel needed just like everyone else does, but sometimes that needing to be needed gets in the way of my needs.
I have no money right now which is always a stress in my life. I'm not sure how I am going to pay next months rent, I really need a roommate. It would be great to have someone share all my expenses with me.
Unfortunately, I have to cut this short. I have to be up in five hours to initiate 19 fantastic, beautiful new babies. So goodnight to all, and be on the lookout for shooting stars. There have been a lot lately.
live, laugh, love
-- peace --
Procrastination transitive verb : to put off intentionally and habitually intransitive verb : to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done.
Currently that is what I am doing. I have so much that I should be doing, but instead I am finding anything and everything to prevent me from doing such.
This week is Initiation week, and I have never been so proud to be a Gamma Phi as I am this week. We have the most amazing babies that on Saturday will get to know all of our secrets, and I will truly be able to call them my sisters. The point of Lifetime Commitment Week is to be a time to reflect on why you chose Gamma Phi Beta, and that is something that I really have been thinking about this week. I love Gamma Phi with all my heart, and I could not imagine my life without it. I am really worried what I am going to do once graduation happens and I can't be with my sisters whenever I want.
I am focusing a lot of my time on school right now in addition to Gamma Phi. As of now, I will be graduating in May, which is a very scary thought. I am not sure what is going to happen to me upon graduation. I was looking at grad schools today, instead of doing homework of course, and I have a vague idea of where I want to go. I am considering Ball State. I've been told they have a good Sports Publicity program which ultimately is what I want to do with my life.
I don't really know though what is going to happen to me after graduation. It is a scary thought. I am 22 years old, and have no idea where my life is headed. I know that I am still young, but it is a scary thought knowing that in a matter of months, my time at Morehead is over. It's just weird, I have met my best friends while here, and had some of the best and worst times of my life. I love Morehead, but I think my time here has just expired.
I could probably go on, but I guess I should start studying so that I can graduate. More to come later...
live, laugh, love
-- peace --
