The week before finals... a week that everyone here at Morehead loves. To MSU, there is no such things as "dead week." I have so many projects due and so much to do, that I don't even know where to begin. I am trying to prioritize and work diligently, but I just don't even know where are how to start tackling everything.
I think I am going to hire someone to clean my house, and someone else to do all my work... not sure how I am going to pay them, but I think it sounds like a good plan. Currently I am watching Sex and the City... I know a real productive use of my time. I'm ready for Christmas break. Ya know... I don't really understand the point of Thanksgiving break... its just a tease. You get nice and cozy away from school only to be launched back into the two hardest weeks of the semester, and its not like you actually do all the homework you are assigned over the supposed break, because the point of a break is to have a break. I mean don't call it Thanksgiving BREAK if you are going to assign more homework than you have the whole rest of the semester.
Speaking of tease... I am soooo sick of being called a tease. I'm not, I don't lead boys on I don't have time to guys, so how the hell can I be a tease?
I want a new nose ring. I think I want a hoop. I don't know I'm very random tonight. My brain is so scattered right now. I need something to force it to focus, to force it to help me get everything accomplished.
I need to shower. I need to do more homework. I need a stiff drink. I need sleep. But for now I say adieu.
live, laugh, love
-- peace --
So tomorrow is the big day for our new girls. Initiation bright and early... 5 a.m. early. I am really excited for our new babies to be able to be apart of such a strong sisterhood, and more importantly something that means so much to me.
In a complete different aspect of my life, the stress level still hasn't gone down. I feel like I have so much to do but I am being torn in so many directions, and I just don't know how to prioritize. I quit one of my two jobs yesterday in hopes to give me a little bit more time to focus on school. Unfortunately, the job I quit was the job where I only worked four hours a week so it isn't even like it was much time taken out of my schedule, but I just couldn't do it anymore.
I had an epiphany last night (I think I have this epiphany like twice a month, but hopefully it sticks this time). I am sick of pleasing everyone but myself. I'm sick of being held to such high standards that are completely impossible for me to fill. It is time I start worrying about me, and not so much what others think of me or what others want from me. I am one person and only one person, I can't do it all, and I can't be there for everyone. I think its the sense of feeling needed. I like to feel needed just like everyone else does, but sometimes that needing to be needed gets in the way of my needs.
I have no money right now which is always a stress in my life. I'm not sure how I am going to pay next months rent, I really need a roommate. It would be great to have someone share all my expenses with me.
Unfortunately, I have to cut this short. I have to be up in five hours to initiate 19 fantastic, beautiful new babies. So goodnight to all, and be on the lookout for shooting stars. There have been a lot lately.
live, laugh, love
-- peace --
Procrastination transitive verb : to put off intentionally and habitually intransitive verb : to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done.
Currently that is what I am doing. I have so much that I should be doing, but instead I am finding anything and everything to prevent me from doing such.
This week is Initiation week, and I have never been so proud to be a Gamma Phi as I am this week. We have the most amazing babies that on Saturday will get to know all of our secrets, and I will truly be able to call them my sisters. The point of Lifetime Commitment Week is to be a time to reflect on why you chose Gamma Phi Beta, and that is something that I really have been thinking about this week. I love Gamma Phi with all my heart, and I could not imagine my life without it. I am really worried what I am going to do once graduation happens and I can't be with my sisters whenever I want.
I am focusing a lot of my time on school right now in addition to Gamma Phi. As of now, I will be graduating in May, which is a very scary thought. I am not sure what is going to happen to me upon graduation. I was looking at grad schools today, instead of doing homework of course, and I have a vague idea of where I want to go. I am considering Ball State. I've been told they have a good Sports Publicity program which ultimately is what I want to do with my life.
I don't really know though what is going to happen to me after graduation. It is a scary thought. I am 22 years old, and have no idea where my life is headed. I know that I am still young, but it is a scary thought knowing that in a matter of months, my time at Morehead is over. It's just weird, I have met my best friends while here, and had some of the best and worst times of my life. I love Morehead, but I think my time here has just expired.
I could probably go on, but I guess I should start studying so that I can graduate. More to come later...
live, laugh, love
-- peace --
