I. The Boy - Rufus*
There's this guy... (we all know where this is going). Well, its not just any boy, its a high school crush. You would think that that would be my first clue to stay away. Any guy who chooses your best friend over you then cheats on her with you, prolly isn't going to be the best guy to get involved with no matter what year it is now. Anyway, we started talking over Christmas break and he asked me over every single night he was on leave. Let me back up... He's in the army, hince the title of this blog. I never went to see him over break cause I was scared of what could happen. I knew that he was in the army and I didn't know if I would be able to handle that. I didn't want to get involved and then him just leave and not know when I would see him again, so I thought if I didn't go see him he would return to where ever and I wouldn't hear from him again. I was wrong.
He went back to Missouri and we kept talking. Our conversations were great - like the "honeymoon phase." He would tell me sweet dreams and tell me I'm gorgeous before he fell asleep every night. It was almost the ideal relationship, except for the fact that we were over 500 miles away. Then there was a few days that I didn't hear from him. I figured he got sick of me and was just too lame to tell me. Then the typical text came - "Hey what's up?" The whole barrack had lost their phones. Things went back to normal and we went on with our "long distance relationship". Rufus always said the right things. He said he wasn't talking to anyone else and considered us dating, but he didn't want to hold me back. "You're in college," he said. "You are surrounded by guys. You're gorgeous. So why do you wanna be with a guy who can't be there with you always?" - Seemed like the perfect excuse. He didn't wanna hold me back my ass. Then the text came... "I lied..."
He's still in love with his ex-fiance - Bertha*, which I didn't even know he was engaged before until just days before this great text came. He loves her and that's never going to change. She was the reason he chose the most dangerous job in the Army, so he can be halfway around the world getting shot at in hopes to make himself feel better. What do you say to that? How do you respond? Then came this text - "Nothing's changed between us though..." Bullshit nothings changed. First I find out that you had a fiance... no not just a fiance, but that best friend you chose over me.. she was your fiance. Then just days later I find out that you still love her. How am I suppose to compete with that? I don't want to be "the other girl." I've already been that with you before. I want you to forget about her and be with me. But no you love her.
I go on with the "nothing has changed between us" though I knew it had. It didn't feel right. I felt like the other girl. He swore to me that no matter what he wouldn't go back to her. That even if she came to him begging to take her back he wouldn't. I don't believe it, but I tried. We continued to talk, and I tried my hardest to show him that he didn't need Bertha. That he was capable of falling in love again with someone else. But I can't anymore. I can't be his savior. I'm not a strong enough person to deal with it all.
I haven't talked to Rufus in days now. He stopped texting me. At first, I assumed that his phone was taken away again, or that he was on one of his "secret army missions," but I'm coming to terms with the fact that hes just an asshole.
The reason I was holding onto Rufus for so long was that it gave me a sense of belonging. I felt that he truly wanted me. I felt needed. I felt like for the first time in a long time that a guy actually wanted to be with me. In reality, he just wanted a piece of ass. He knew that if said the right things to me for the next three months, when he got leave, he was guaranteed ass. He has no friends back home, another reason he joined the army. He lost them all when Bertha threw the ring at him. He thought by "buttering me up" he would be golden.
I don't think I can do it anymore. Even if all my theories are wrong, I don't know if I am a strong enough person to deal with an army relationship. I don't have any trust, not only when it comes to guys, but people in general. I want to believe that all my theories are incorrect, but where is he? Where is Rufus?
*Names have been changed.
II. The new neighbors
So my old neighbors lease was up in December. I never thought I'd miss them... til my new neighbors moved in... They have taken over the complex. I have had to ask them twice so far if they would move their car out of my driveway, so they leave their flat bed trailer in my driveway practically blocking me in. And now they are parked in my other spot. I started of nice, but now it's war.
I currently have three different ideas about what to do about the idiot neighbors and their vehicles.
1. Write a letter and put it on their car asking them again to not park in my spots.
2. Have them towed, but I don't know if the towing people would tow them.
3. Once my car unthaws, parking it to completely block their asses in.
My theory is if I lived in the "burbs," people wouldn't park in my driveway, so what gives them the right to park in it here?
III. The place I live
I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would have as many problems with my house as I do. I woke up like four days in a row with no water. Then had to fight with the "stand-in landlord" to get the problem fixed. Yes, my landlord decided to go south for winter - I guess he's a bird or something.
Then came the Internet. Stupid stand-in landlords decided to burn the Internet cable when they were trying to thaw out my pipes, giving dumb and dumber - the Internet installers - a harder time trying to get me Internet. What was worse was the fact when my dear friends Dumb and Dumber were installing my Internet, they thought it would be a good idea to leave the door standing open so that pooch could almost get out and runaway. All I want is for there to be a lil intelligence when people come into my house.
To top it all off, since I live in Sketchville, USA, I have to sign for packages, making me miss work and wait from 2-7 for a package.
We will leave it to my top three rants of the night. So with that, I bid y'all adieu.
live, laugh, love
-- peace --
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